Night Swimming isn't as romantic as R.E.M made it out to be.

 It is not.

Unless you are somewhere secluded in summer with a loved one- although in the UK you'll probably have to contend with the inevitable slugs and midges. And slugs and midges are about as romantic as well... not very much.

Fun!

Cold water swimming is- like yoga and driving SUV's to 'wellness classes' the 'in thing' to do over the last few years. Go to any well known swim spot in the Peak District (I'm not giving them away!) and you'll likely find an assortment of pasty looking people of varying girths happily throwing themselves into stone grey icy water, inevitably whilst talking about 'practicing their Wim Hof'.

Why?

It is oddly good fun. I've been doing it for years and and there really is a perverse pleasure in getting naked and jumping into water on a cold, drizzly afternoon in mid November. It feels like the wrong thing to do. It is the wrong thing to do. Your body is quite literally dying. There are no thoughts. For thirty seconds or so every neuron in your brain is firing telling you to get out. It would like to be warm and alive- and you are not. Your brain goes numb, very soon followed by every inch of skin you have and never knew you had. Hands and fingers instantly turn to rubbery lumps of flesh. 

A grey January day is a 
perfect time for a dip.

You get out and the rush- well, it is quite something. 15 minutes of intense smiling, laughing euphoria. There is a bizarre feeling of warmth despite it being 3c (or less) whilst stood around in your birthday suit halfway up a hill. You have a huge glow and smile across your face and vow to come back and do it again.

If you happen to go cold water swimming with friends, it is even more funny. Like hapless lemmings, one by one you strip off and plunge into the abyss, only to quickly to remerge bright red like boiled lobsters in reverse. This is shared suffering and silliness in a highly accessible manner, perfect for the hectic modern lifestyle. Watching your mates stuff their claw-like feet into shoes while light headed from the shock is certainly a giggle. But is is in no way romantic.  

Short lived intense euphoria? Highly addictive? Sounds like something familiar??? Yes, cold water swimming is effectively wholesome middle-class crack.

 So, if you happen to stumble across middle aged hippie types gleefully jumping into some bleak bit of freezing cold water, just remember- everyone has to get their high somehow.

Nightswimming in winter is another level of self-flagellation in the name of 'welbeing'. I've done it a few times. Imagine a big void that wants to kill you, then willingly jumping into it. You can't see it, but it hurts. Slugs in summer, death in winter. Sorry Michael Stipe, you were wrong about this one.